Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Hey listen up, the French have a plan!

Well, we knew that they would find a way, somewhere, somehow.

France is trying to surrender in a war they’re not even in.

Well, they can’t actually do it themselves, but there trying to wrangle themselves some vicarious surrenderage. I guess the opposite of glory hogs are surrender monkeys.

France said Monday that it would take part in a proposed international conference on Iraq only if the agenda included a possible U.S. troop withdrawal, thus complicating the planning for a meeting that has drawn mixed reactions.

Paris also wants representatives of Iraq's insurgent groups to be invited to a conference in October or November, a call that would seem difficult for the Bush administration to accept.
Yeah, that would seem difficult, now wouldn’t it? France knows it will be awkward to invite Bush and the insurgency to the party even though they hate each other, but is doing it anyways because it’s that kind of country. Little known to France, it will be even more awkward when it arrives at the party in the same dress as the insurgency. You know it.

I still think we should accept the offer. You must be able to sit peacefully across from your enemy in order to gain his understanding and friendship. And then, once he has accepted you as a trusted partner, BAM! shiv in the eye. And you can also have sleepovers, but no hanky-panky because that’s just ew.

In Berlin, the German government said it had long been in favor of an international forum to support Iraq’s democratization, Agence France-Presse reported. The European Union’s foreign policy chief, Javier Solana, also endorsed the idea, as did the Spanish and Danish governments.
Forum? Hell yeah! Sign us up! If history has taught us nothing else (and it hasn’t) it’s that wars can only be won by international forums. And mongols.

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