Saturday, October 30, 2004

Our friends, the media

What would happen if documents were discovered that impugned Bush’s military service—oh wait, never mind. The media ran gleefully with them into the public square, shouting incoherently, pants around its ankles. I remember that now.

And what do you think would happen if documents were discovered about Kerry? Let’s take a looksee!

While John Kerry is running around claiming President George Bush and our troops overseas failed the American people by not guarding an explosives dump without explosives in it, documents have been uncovered at Texas Tech University that show Kerry was following Vietnam War protest guidelines from North Vietnamese communists in the early 1970s.

[…]

The documents -- which actually LOOK like they came from the 1970s and not from a Microsoft Word program -- were found at the Vietnam Center at Texas Tech University in Lubbock and reproduced from captured communist records. These documents have been PROVEN 100 percent authentic BEFORE their release, unlike those 60 Minutes National Guard documents that CBS refuses to investigate. They show that Madame Nguyen Thi Binh, the Viet Cong provisional governor of South Vietnam at the Paris Peace Talks, delivered a plan from Le Duc Tho -- Ho Chi Minh's second in command -- for American anti-war activities that anti-war protesters followed to the letter.

[…]

Kerry had also met illegally with Binh in 1970 while he was still a Naval officer on inactive reserve status, and in fact, all his meetings were under the six-year window of the term of his enlistment. This precludes him from even running for elective office, much less president, but nobody is mentioning it for some reason. Amendment 14, Section 3 states: "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-president, having previously taken an oath to support the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof." [emphasis added]

Have you seen a 60 Minutes II breathlessly reporting that yet? Has the New York Times jumped on the bandwagon, with lurid “Kerry committed treason!” headlines?

Bah! There are more important matters at hand, such as anything remotely bad for Bush. .06% of the explosives in Iraq may not have been secured? Holla! That’s good for a weeks worth of headlines there! Kids are playing poker? Must... inform... populace!

I mean, if I was going to sell my soul, I would get something cool, like a Lamborghini or a third arm or something. But a Kerry presidency? Dude, you need to get a out more.

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