Thursday, November 04, 2004

A pep talk

Me: *knock* We need to talk.

Me: Are you going to just sit in your room all day, sulking, listening to Rage Against the Machine, and tossing a tennis ball against the wall? It’s okay, dude, come out. Everything will be okay.

Moore: N-n-never! *sob*

Me: C’mon, it’ll be all right. Really. You can make a documentary about this. An autobiographical one. The title “Super Size Me” is already taken, but that shouldn’t stop you.

Moore: I hate Bush! I hate you! I hate the world! *sob*

Me: Don’t talk that way. Do you hate HoHo’s? Do you hate Little Debby?

Moore: Don’t you bring her into this! That’s not…just…just leave her out!

Me: Okay, just come on out…I’ve got pie.

Moore: NEVER! What kind?

Me: Caramel fudge beef tips. Your favorite.

Moore: I don’t need your pity pie! Just leave the pie by the door and begone!

Me: Fine. Oh, and Osama called. He liked your movie, but he said the part about the Saudi puppeteers was kind of far-fetched. He said he’ll kill you last.

Moore: Osama called… for me?

Me: Oh yeah. He sure did. He was like, “I wish to speak to the large unkempt infidel, inshallah. His movie was good, but I don’t think he explored the Jewish angle enough.”

Moore: Jews, eh? Hmm…

Me: There we go! That’s the spirit!

Moore: I have work to do! Bring me my scooter! But first things first…the pie.

Me: Indeed.

2 Comments:

Blogger Fiending Genius said...

That has to be the funniest dialogue I've ever seen, let alone in a blog. Kudos.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Grant said...

Thanks!

9:24 PM  

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