Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Bog: man's best friend

Not only is irony dead, but satire is in critical condition. It just can’t compete with reality.

A dozen empty houses in a new Maryland subdivision that is the focus of a long-running environmental dispute were destroyed and numerous others were damaged yesterday in what officials said were more than 20 coordinated, methodically planned arsons.


Environmentalists assert that the houses will damage Araby Bog, a 6.5-acre wetlands area that is home to endangered insects and such rare plants as the halberd-leaved greenbrier and red milkweed.

Yep, these ecoterrorists burned down people’s houses to save the... wait for it... wait for it... Araby Bog. Can you think of a name for a location that sounds less inhospitable? Araby, as in Arab, as in deserts and heat and such. And Bog, as in bog, with attendant bogginess.

But, nevertheless, the Araby Bog must be saved to preserve its scintillating denizens, the halbed-leaved greenbrier and red milkweed, natures two most exciting weeds. And I don't mean to be knocking the dandelion here its just that, really, how can you compete with a halberd-leaved greenbrier?

update: answer: you can't.


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