Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Abu Ghraib has team spirit

News from a trial not involving Scott Peterson:

FORT HOOD, Texas (Reuters) - A lawyer for Charles Graner, accused ringleader in the Iraq prisoner abuse scandal, on Monday compared piling naked prisoners into pyramids to cheerleader shows and said leashing inmates was also acceptable prisoner control.

"Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?" Guy Womack, Graner's attorney, said in opening arguments to the 10 member U.S. military jury at the reservist sergeant's court-martial.

I see they’re trying the ‘Cheerleader’ defense. This is a common courtroom tactic. When using this stratagem, the defense attorney attempts to justify his clients behavior by comparing it to the actions of cheerleaders, because, cheerleaders, as an innocent symbol of all things Americana, are obviously infallible. This stratagem was most famously employed during Michael Jackson’s first bout with the courts in the ‘90’s, when it was stated that “cheerleaders like to entertain little boys, too.”

On a related, nonsarcastic note, Charles Graner might want to consider changing his lawyer to, I don’t know, how about that guy that stands on the street corner prophesying the “the ind of the wrld”? Because, if he doesn’t, Graner could be going to a place where being stacked naked would indeed be on par with a cheerleading routine compared to other happenings.

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