Monday, January 10, 2005

Extra Extra!

Breaking news, and CBS has the scoop! Great job guys!

The best part of all of this is being able to write the following sentence:

CBS News reports that “CBS News failed to follow basic journalistic principles in the preparation and reporting of the piece.”

Reached for comment, the Space-Time Continuum had this to say, “Dude, I am so frickin’ gonna implode over this.”

When I read the initial reports about the report that was released, it sounded like a decent and fair deconstruction of what went down during Rathergate. But then I read this news story of excerpts, and found this:

The panel has not been able to conclude with absolute certainty whether the (late Lt. Col. Jerry) Killian documents are authentic or forgeries. However, the panel has identified a number of issues that raise serious questions about the authenticity of the documents and their content.
Not been able to conclude whether the documents are authentic or forgeries? There is no doubt whatsoever, barring an act of God or super intelligent, far leftist alien, that these things are faker than Cher's face. LGF, (which appears to be down right now) super-imposed a copy of the memo over a document typed in Word, on the default settings. IT MATCHED PERFECTLY. It is simply implausible to conclude that a typewritten document would match up perfectly with a document typed in Word on the default settings, because of the use of proportional font, the presence of word wrap (not having to manually move to the next line as you would with a typewriter), as well as the fact that all the spaces and tabs match PERFECTLY. Not to mention the little superscript “th” that launched a thousand blogs.

The memo was an out and out, easily identifiable fraud, and any internal probe that fails to recognize this isn’t worth its weight in Dan Rather-style homespun aphorisms.

Here’s an analysis of the report by Powerline, the blog that lead the charge in Rathergate.

update: paragraph deleted because it was retarded. It kept on drooling on all the other paragraphs and smearing the walls with its... waste. I'm not saying that eugenics should be practiced to cull the weak/retarded from the rest of the herd, I'm just saying I deleted a paragraph. Because it was retarded.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would have been better if Viacom had put "independent" men on the panel. Dick has had a vendetta against the Bushes for 13 years. Of course he found "No political motive"! Viacam wanted to hide their smear and Dick hid the smear for them.
Rod Stanton

6:42 AM  

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