Friday, April 21, 2006

You know what's cool?

Depth perception. Seriously, go ahead and try it. It’s like a 3-D movie, starring yourself.

Far out, man.

It's like television broke free from its 2-dimensional glass prison, burrowed deep into my brain while glutting itself on my grey matter, laid a clumpy mass of forty million reality television-larvae, and then entered a pupael stage within the cocoon-confines of my now hollowed-out skull, amidst its quickly hatching kin. Far. Out.

Update: Patent pending, by the way.

I think I'll purchase a mansion on the moon with my perilously high piles of cash. Or maybe I'll just build it myself, directly out of cash. But don't worry, the grotesque amount of wealth I'm bound to make here won't change me.

No, what will change me is the hangers-on and sycophants that will attach themselves to me like starving lampreys on the underside of an insanely wealthy manatee. I may start a cult, actually, kind of a laid back one with minimal castration and drugging of fruit drinks. Y'know, like the Young Democrats got here on campus--something cozy-like.

"Depth Perception--the ultimate reality TV!" Indeed.


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