Monday, May 01, 2006

"Oh, that's no problem. Me and my gaping spear wound of death can wait."

Pharmacist: Okay... here we go, yep, we have that in stock.

Me: Great.

Pharmacist: Yep, it's right back there on the shelf. See it, see it on the shelf right there?

Me: Yep.

Pharmacist: On the shelf. In stock.

Me: Uh, huh.

Pharmacist: It sits but feet from body--I can feel its presence.

Me: Quite.

Pharmacist:...

Me: So...

Pharmacist: 20-25 minutes and we should have it ready for you.

----

Okay, I'm sure pharmacists have legitimate, medical-type reasons for why THEY ARE CONSUMED WITH THE SPIRIT OF EVIL. What, do they think, "Hey, maybe if we make this guy wait he'll develop another disease, and we can charge him for that one, too!"?

I'm sorry, just a little bitter. It's just the wait seemed a little excessive, seeing as all they did was STICK IT IN A LITTLE BAG. Did they make me wait just to make sure I was legit, that I wasn't pulling their leg, twisting their arm, or in some other way manipulating their body so as to indicate deceit? Judging from this, I'd say pharmacy school must consist of a few introductory courses on identifying pills, and then FOUR LONG YEARS OF STICKING THINGS IN SMALL BAGS. With electives, of course, like "How to Project an Aura of Disaffection and Displeasure on Everyone You Meet" and "Torturing Small Woodland Creatures."

I've had it up to here with pharmacies [I'm gesturing towards my forehead right now, somewhat theatrically, in order to indicate up-to-here-edness]. I'm taking my business next door! That's right, there ain't a thing the Wal-Mart pharmacy can whip up that my neighbor's garage can't!

5 Comments:

Anonymous DamianC said...

Spending Time waiting for a presciption can be frustrating, but Pharmacists are not evil, because you have to wait. Patients wait for long periods of time in Doctors offices and Emergency Rooms. Please understand Pharmacists are doing there jobs, not only do they review your medication, and bill your insurance, they are also doing the same for people before you, and answering important questions to others, and counseling individuals on other medications, interactions and ensuring individuals get the right medication. They don't go to school to learn how to put stickers on bottles and put things in bags. Pharmacists get at least five years of intense clinical training. A good pharmacist can actually help improve outcomes in patient care, many studies have been done that show the benefit of having them involved in the health care system. The Pharmacist is an important part of the Health Care system and, helps enusre patient safety.
Thanks
DamianC

9:53 PM  
Anonymous j said...

some people have no sense of humor...

4:38 PM  
Blogger Grant said...

Pharmacysts, their souls having departed long ago from this world, are physically and emotionally incapable of feeling the human emotion known as "fun."

Or so I deduce, based on one incident.

10:03 AM  
Blogger jbytes said...

hey.....we pharmacists have a great sense of humor..... favorite pharmacist/patient interactions are sure to include the call from someone who has not deduced the need to unwrap a suppository before shoving it up their ***...... or the impressive narcotics prescriptions with crossed out quantities with non-matched colors of ink that wouldn't work for changing your D to an A in 1st grade......

but honestly, DaminanC has a fabulous post explaining what pharmacists actually do...

next time i'm at work in a pharmacy losing my sense of humor, soul, and all other glimpses of a personality i'll xerox his post and hand it out to the im"patients" so i can save some time and get back to working on:

1) the 5 other waiting customers' prescriptions that arrived prior to you
2) the stack of 40+ rxes for patients scheduled to come pick up in the next hour
3)listen to the 10 new voicemail
4) help the 3 people behind you (who according to them have illnesses/diseases/gaping skin wounds/pain/STDs 100x worse than you)
5) get the drivethru,
and 6) listen to your insurance company's hold music for about 15/"said 20 minutes"

3:15 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

jbytes:
"favorite pharmacist/patient interactions are sure to include the call from someone who has not deduced the need to unwrap a suppository before shoving it up their ***"

HEY, I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU RESPECTED MY MEDICAL PRIVACY.

HOW I USE/MISUSE SUPPOSITORIES IS NO ONE'S BUSINESS BUT MY OWN, AND POSSIBLY THE MILKMAN, WHO WAS ALSO INVOLVED, ALTHOUGH ONLY IN A SUPPORTING ROLE. YOU NEED SOMEONE TO OPERATE THE CARPET SHAMPOOER, AFTER ALL.

4:39 PM  

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