Monday, May 01, 2006

The post wherein my newly acquired hatred of pharmacysts is cemented into lifelong vendetta based on one incident

A kindly passerby took issue with my anger at Pharmacysts (the "y" is oh-so purposeful) and left a rejoinder in the comments. So, I respond. His comments indented, quoted. Mine, not so much.
"Pharmacists are not evil, because you have to wait. Patients wait for long periods of time in Doctors offices and Emergency Rooms."
No, you're right, pharmacysts are not evil because they make me wait, they're evil because they realize that, despite their sizable paychecks, their whole societal purpose is "glorified vending machine." This causes them to arbitrarily abuse power in a number of petty ways in a vain effort to aggrandize their self-worth. That, in shorthand, is why they're evil.

And also, see, doctors actually do stuff, like cut off moles and other unwanted fleshy protuberances.

Pharmacysts, on the other hand, move their arms in 45-75 degree arcs, to access items on shelves. Some waist pivot action may also be required, but rarely.

"They don't go to school to learn how to put stickers on bottles and put things in bags."

No wonder it frickin' took them so long.
"they are also doing the same for people before you, and answering important questions to others, and counseling individuals on other medications, interactions and ensuring individuals get the right medication"
So, basically, they provide an incredibly expensive and time-wasting level of redundancy between doctor and patient, in order that, in extremely rare cases, someone might benefit. Hm. Makes sense.
"A good pharmacist can actually help improve outcomes in patient care, many studies have been done that show the benefit of having them involved in the health care system."
And, y'know what, if we added another cyst into the health care machine, between the pharmacyst and the doctor--we'd probably make health care even better! I mean, if we didn't die in the process of trying to fill our meds.
"Pharmacists get at least five years of intense clinical training"
...and they still have trouble with the bag-stuffing. Five years? Dude, I can stuff pills in a bottle and then google their side effects. Years of training required: zilch.

Seriously, a good search engine designed specifically for pharmaceuticals, which identified probable drug interactions, would eliminate human error and INCREASE THE JOY OF MY LIFE TWENTY-FOLD. I WANT THOSE TWENTY-TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES BACK.

I didn't purchase pills that needed to be counted. It was a bottle. On the shelf. I didn't have insurance information that needed to be processed. I didn't talk with a pharmacyst about side-effects. And then she says "It'll be 20-25 minutes."

Evil. Sublimated evil. That's all I can say.

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