Thursday, May 04, 2006

We get comments!

So, another kindly visiting pharmacyst takes the time to leave a thoughtful comment, time in which, one can assume with little hyperbole, four patients perished while waiting for their meds to be filled, one of them surviving long enough to write a final, farewell message to his five young daughters and pregnant wife, using his own diseased blood as ink to send a message from his heart to theirs.

So, given that these two passing pharmacii have condescended to communicate with us "unclean" leper-masses, I feel it is demanded of me that I reply, with due thought and seriousness.

The following five points were left by a pharmacyst, Jbytes ("Jb" is the English language rendering of a sound that only pharmacysts and other beings with yard-long, forked tongues, can properly pronounce). My brilliant, insightful commentary follows. Jbytes says that the reason I have to wait is because pharmacysts are busy working on:

1) the 5 other waiting customers' prescriptions that arrived prior to you

2) the stack of 40+ rxes for patients scheduled to come pick up in the next hour

3)listen to the 10 new voicemail

4) help the 3 people behind you (who according to them have illnesses/diseases/gaping skin wounds/pain/STDs 100x worse than you)

5) get the drivethru, and

6) listen to your insurance company's hold music for about 15/"said 20 minutes"


Okay, now having read this apologia for the black art of pharmacy, which one of the above tasks could not be completed by a highly trained monkey, or other simian agent? And monkeys, you see, are generally pleasant to be around--at least when they throw feces at you it is done with a spirit of levity.

Pharmacysts, however, are dead to levity and niceness, and throw feces only with the evillest of intents.

Or so I deduce, based on one incident

(Previously: Part 1 (now, with more comments!!!) and Part 2, in my newly acquired, bitter, lifelong vendetta against pharmacysts--based on one incident, but BURNING WITH THE HEAT OF A MILLION RED HOT JOLLY RANCHERS.)


Blogger jbytes said...

I apologize for "projecting an aura of upleasantness" upon you in my prior comment. I had a bad workday at my local chain (McDonald's of pharmacy). Often I imagine this place as vanquishing my soul and the shiny ideals I once possessed at the beginning. Truly, my bitterness and cynicism has exponentially expanded and because of this (last effort to preserve remaining shreds of soul) I will be a resident in a hospital in the near future.... I shudder to imagine the "pharmacyst" I truly would be should I remain there...

1:26 AM  
Blogger jbytes said...

Also, hope your wound is a bit better, especially with finals looming.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

It's good to know that out of all pharmacysts, there are some that are passably human--or at least as far as the turing test* that is blog comments can show.


Good luck with preserving that last, static-clinging vestige of your soul. Keep that thing safe. It may not seem like much, but it's all that separates you from the hollow-bodied ring-wraiths that inhabit the occupation of modern dentistry. shudder

(word verification word: "bflrlgn" I swear, whenever I type one of those words I feel like I need to make the sign of the cross. They just seem...obscene, don't they, like the guttural incantations of some squat Belzebub?)

3:34 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home