Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Monkey Apocalypse Watch -- INDIA

Yahoo News brings us this startling harbinger of End Times. Headline:

“India tries to chase monkeys from trains”

Monkeys on trains…why, that’s only a hair louse of a degree away from Snakes on a Plane!—and, well, once that happens, it’s time to look for a new reality.

But India won’t degenerate that far—no, they have a solution:

NEW DELHI - In an effort to keep monkeys out of the New Delhi subways, authorities have called in one of the few animals known to scare the creatures — a fierce-looking primate called the langur, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Wednesday.
So, to get rid of the mischievous monkeys they are going to fill the streets with fierce-looking primates. Which is all well and good, but what of those that aren’t keen on fierce-looking primates—say, because they might, slippery slope, lead to the restriction of civil liberties via the imposition of super-intelligent, laser-whip weilding, ape-overlords to control the fierce-looking primates. And then, when we are being ruled by super-intelligent, laser-whip weilding ape-overlords controlling fierce-looking primates—then, won’t the mischievous monkeys have won?

What was the mischievous monkey 9/11 that precipitated this affront to civil liberties?
On June 9, a monkey reportedly crawled through some pipes and ended up aboard a train, scowling at passengers and jumping around a car.
6/9…that seems to lack some of the sober hallowedness of a 9/11, but it’ll have to do. 6/9, a day which will live in infamy…and hilarity. But mainly the former. Only a dash of the latter.

But we shouldn’t let the act of a few monkeys determine how we view all monkeys…monkey is a Species of Peace.
"There are too many monkeys," Dayal was quoted as saying.
The speciocentrism begins.

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